How To Attract a Guy


I admit, I am not the best person to write a post like this. I mean, I seem to be a douche magnet. All the guys I have dated have turned out to be complete douchebags. And the ONE decent guy i manage to find happens to be WAY out of my league. So, for obvious reasons, I am the wrong girl to write a post with that title. Therefore I shall tell you what NOT to do if you are trying to catch Mr. Hottie’s attention. Basically, it’s everything I have ever done. Living the Murphy life. So here goes-

1. Let us assume that you haven’t got the guts to talk to that guy, for whatever reasons. But some random day, you wake up with this new found determination, fuelled by ingestion of unimaginable amount of alcohol or sleep deprivation, to talk to the guy, do NOT start your conversation by saying something like, “Hi, I’m so bored that I’m ready to carry out a full fledged conversation with a chair, so what’s up?” No. Don’t do that. While it may sound funny to you now, notice how you end up calling the guy a chair. And calling a guy a piece of furniture used to park your butt on is not a very effective way of attracting him. Speaking from personal experience. The guy never spoke to me again. For obvious reasons.
Moving on,

2. Now lets assume that you do manage to strike up a conversation that sounds a little intelligent, make sure that you do not end up staring at the guy with wonder and stars in your eyes and completely tune out. Because if he asks for your opinion about something and you just agree to it blindly, because you weren’t really paying attention to what he was saying so you have no clue about what he asked, you might just end up agreeing that buying his mother a green monkey with pink polka dots on it for her birthday is a brilliant idea. Not a good thing to happen. He will lose interest in you if he thinks that you have no interest in whatever he says.

3. Now lets assume that you both have managed to continue your oh-so-intelligent-and-interesting-conversation for about 15-20 minutes and have now decided to talk about music. If it so happens that he loves rock and metal and you love pop, steer away. STEER AWAY I tell you. Dangerous territory. Apparently, it is VERY important for the guys to know that the girl he is interested in has similar interest in music as him. So I’ve come to know recently. And God forbid that you ever say something negative about his favourite artist… He will verbally rape you. If he is the badass type that is. And majority of the girls go for the badass types.

4. Further assuming that you have managed to survive the conversation and have managed not to bore him thoroughly, you need to make sure that you don’t repel him unknowingly. Don’t act like a kid. Its annoying. Don’t go all pink princess on him either. He feel probably end up feeling nauseated. Don’t yell at him unnecessarily. Don’t get offended at every little thing he does. You were the one who was attracted to him, so accept him as he is.
And finally,

5. DO NOT go all forever and always on him. Never do that. Unless you are positive that he feels the same way. If the guy is sort of commitment phobic, he will sprint the other direction before you can say “kids”. So before you start deciding the color of your bedroom walls and middle names of your six children, make sure that he won’t vamoose at the thought of it.
p.s. I have never done this!! Talk kids I mean. This is something I heard about. So just mentioning it.

And there. 5 tips. Aren’t I the best? πŸ˜‰

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