Bloody Nail and Tap in the Spleen

So, yesterday I posted about how I walked into a rusted iron sign post, today was no better either.

So I went to this cyber cafe to print some posters, and by some I mean 11 posters (and they are amaaaazing). The first mildly bad thing happened there. I opened the keyboard slider case thingy in the table and it slid across my finger near the nail, effectively slicing open my cuticle and the skin underneath it. It was bloody. A little.

Then, when I came back home after the second failed attempt to have the best Oreo shake in the Milky Way galaxy because the shop was closed, I had to use the washroom for some god forsaken reason. I was in my friend’s room and while walking into the washroom, I did not manage to stop walking on time and as a result walked into the tap. Which almost punctured my spleen. Because I did not stop on time. It really can’t get any worse in one day.

P.S. I was exaggerating about the spleen part.

P.P.S. I want Oreo shake.


The Fault With My Stars

Luck obviously does not appreciate my existence. I seem to have a series of unlucky happenings happening to me. Like this particular day was exceptionally bad. And lets not forget the toaster incident. And the entire streak of bad luck I was having with His Hotness.
So anyway, what happened today is, Mickey, my labrador puppy, peed in the tiny corridor that leads to my room. So after watching a movie on romedy now, I thought of going to my room to put my cell phone on charge. And since I was unaware of the pee, I stepped on it. And obviously I fell. But that is never enough, now is it? While falling, I banged my head into the wall and slammed my arm into the washing machine. So now I have a painful potato on my head, a throbbing arm, quite possibly a fractured wrist and a horribly aching ass. My stars hate me. Okay bye.

A Little About Me

I am blogging after a long time today. I don’t know why though. It’s not that I didn’t have time or didn’t have anything to blog about or even that I had forgotten about it. I just didn’t. However, today, after a long time, I felt the need to write. Probably because there are things that are bothering me. Things that I cannot talk about to my friends, because it may offend my other friends. Even if they don’t ever come to know about it, I don’t want to say things about the people I love that are not complimentary. This, however, is a new development in me. I have never thought about not talking about someone in a manner that is not in their best interests. If some friend of mine hurt me, or offended me, or irritated me, I would just go to another friend and talk about it. Complain about it, rather. Not necessarily bitching about the person, though. Today, I don’t want to do so. This however, doesn’t mean that I don’t bitch about anybody. I do, guilty as charged.

Anyway, going back to what I started with. So, there are things that bother me. Small things, petty things. I won’t go into specifications, though. There are just some things I don’t like. Call it childish, call it oversensitive, call it whatever. Call it a blue monkey, if you so please. But simple as daylight, I don’t like them.  So, I wanted to make a list of ten things that I do not like. I don’t know why. I just like making lists. It makes me happy. And today, I am very unhappy. So, my victims, I shall present to you the list, in no particular order.

Things I Don’t Like:

  1. I don’t like it when people don’t answer my texts. Thanks to technology, I can now see if the person has read my text or not. So, if they don’t answer it, I feel bad. It makes me feel like I am disturbing them and that they don’t want to speak to me. Or they are just not interested. And I don’t mean that one has to reply immediately. If you are busy, I understand! But hell, you’ve been online for 4 hours now, 9 different times! Reply to me! Also the fact that I don’t tell everything to anybody and don’t share my daily activities or anything of that sort with anyone, it feels worse, because the things that I do share, that I do text about, they are important to me. Your acknowledgement is important to me, your opinion is important to me. If I tell you what I had for lunch and you don’t reply, okay, no problem. But if I tell you that I baked a fancy cake for my best friend’s birthday, knowing that I am a clutz in the kitchen, I am expecting a reply! Even a smiley works!
  2. I don’t like pizza.
  3. I don’t like it when people don’t make an effort. If I make an effort to make you happy, I am expecting something back. If I am considering your feelings, your likes and dislikes, your opinions and thoughts, then I expect you to consider mine! I am not paving a smooth road for you so that you can glide along with me, without a care, without bothering to do anything for me! Do me a favor and don’t be so selfish and self- centered. Sometimes, make an effort to do something for me, even if you don’t want to do it, or even if you don’t like it. Make me feel a little important. Make me feel appreciated. I am doing a lot for you. And if you cannot do anything for me, at least appreciate what I do for you.
  4. I don’t like hot food.
  5. I don’t like it when people cancel last minute. Unless it is an emergency, don’t do it. Just don’t do it. I will understand till an extent. But if you tell me, that somebody called you to do something else that you didn’t want to say no to, like have lunch, then I am going to throw a crowbar at your face, and you will not complain about it.
  6. I don’t like animal prints.
  7. I don’t like being spoken to rudely. I don’t like being snapped at. I don’t like being cut off mid-sentence. I am not a rude person, I am generally not rude to anybody. So if I am not speaking to you like that, I do not appreciate being spoken to like that. And if you cut me off mid-sentence with some sort of offhand comment about how you don’t want to listen to it, it makes me feel unimportant. Like what I am saying is not worth your time. That I am not worth your time.
  8. I don’t like watching Bond movies, Indiana Jones movies and I don’t like metal.
  9. I don’t like being anybody’s secret. I hate it. I have been in a couple of relationships where the guy wouldn’t let me tell anybody about the fact that we were in a relationship. Not even my friends. But I quite obviously told my friends and that lead to a hell lot of arguments. When I was in those relationships, I was too young and stupid to understand exactly what was going on because the guy would give elaborate explanations of why we couldn’t tell anybody and why we should be together in secret and a whole lot of other bullshit. Later I learned that I wasn’t pretty enough for them to tell anyone about me. And no, I am not assuming this, I was told so. That hurt. And agreed that I am not one of the most beautiful people on earth, I can’t even pass off as pretty. But man, could you be more insensitive and rude? So these days, I hate it if anybody even proposes that we don’t tell someone or anyone. No matter what the reason. I may understand, I may agree,  but I will hate it every second of everyday. I may know that the reason in completely valid and has nothing to do with me, but I will still feel that maybe if I was pretty, if I was smarter, he wouldn’t mind telling anyone because it wouldn’t matter. Because he would feel lucky and proud to have me, like I would feel lucky and proud to have him.
  10. I never liked Swat Cats or Captain Planet.

So there. A list of things I dislike.

Anyway, on a different note, Durga Puja just passed. To those who don’t know, Durga Puja is a four day festival celebrating the Hindu goddess, Durga. Although only 4 days are celebrated, Six days are observed,  Mahalaya, Shashthi, Maha Saptami, Maha Ashtami, Maha Navami and Vijayadashami. People build pandals, decorative, artistic and creative pandals that house beautiful idols of the goddess. Here. Some pictures for you.




Aren’t they beautiful? The saddest part is, these beautiful idols, these beautiful works of art, are submerged into water on Vijayadashami. If I made these, or even something half as beautiful, I sure as hell wouldn’t have the heart to let them disintegrate to mud!


Day before yesterday, our driver left the new car ( Renault Duster!!!) in reverse gear by mistake and shut off the engine and left it in dad’s office. So when dad came and started the engine, the car rolled backwards and slammed into a wall and now the car’s ass had gone for a toss. Poor Vijay bhaiya (our driver) got a scolding.

Then, after swimming, I came out of the shower and went out to go home and a crow shat (is that the past tense for shit? what is the past tense for shit?) on my head. A CROW SHAT (?) ON MY HEAD. Right after I had shampooed.
Then, I lost a diamond earring. It is also a very bad sign, superstitiously speaking.
Then, the next day, our washing machine started leaking.
Then after some time, our aqua-guard stopped working.
Then in the evening it was raining, so I went to the terrace, happily got drenched and came back down, only to find that all the towels had been washed (before the machine went for a toss), so all of them are wet. ALL THE TOWELS.
Then I slipped and fell because I was wet and tiles are slippery and have this pent up rage saved for me and my poorly coordinated limbs.

How cool, no?
And one of our lovebirds had a baaaabyyyy!!!!! LOOK!!Image

That is it. That is all i have to report.

Oh, and yesterday, Mexican Chocolate and I went to this cafe called Choco Cafe and good lord, the food was so BLEH. He nearly killed me because I was the one who dragged him there. In my defense, one would think that a place named Choco Cafe would be good… Apparently not. 😛

AND, I am going through a  RED phase. I LOVE RED.


Okay, BYE! ^_^

Tattoos and Bad Haircuts

I just realised, I never told you guys that I have two tattoos! Well, I do. Got them about a year or so ago. Here they are, excuse that bad picture quality.


Thats the first one. No, it’s not because I’m a Linkin Park fan. Just that the phrase from the song kinda stuck and I completely believe in it. It’s true, the little things do give you away, you can never hide something forever.  The second one says Alis volat propriis, which means she flies with her own wings. Why is it in Latin? Because the first one was in English and people read it and kept asking me what it meant and I got really irritated. I mean, it’s in English!! If you can read it, you should be able to comprehend it! So I got the next one in Latin because they were gonna ask what it meant anyway, so might as well make their question seem a little intelligent. A least this time they would have a reason to ask. Hence, the Latin tattoo.


Weird thing was, people always say that tattoos in bony areas hurt more than tattoos in fleshy areas. It was the opposite for me. The tattoo on my back hurt waaaay less than the one on my leg. In fact, after the first one, I was so happy to learn that tattoos don’t hurt that I told everyone that they should get one, because they don’t hurt! Then while getting the second one, it hurt so bad that I spent the entire time texting everybody that if I ever tell them that tattoos don’t hurt, NOT to believe me cuz they hurt like a rabid bitch. Because it did. Anyway, I’m gonna get a third one soon! A Phoenix this time, on my back. I’ll post a picture when I get it done!
Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you, I got the worst haircut ever in the history of worst haircuts ever. I already had short hair, but it was becoming kinda uneven so I went for a TRIM. But obviously, the dude had an epileptic fit while giving me the trim because my hair is now shorter than ever. And I cried. Literally. I don’t understand why these hairstylists just refuse to listen to what I want them to do!! Why do they have to exhibit all sorts of creativity one would need to design sodding crop circles, on my head? I hate hairstylists.

Dear Rapists,

Yes, I am a woman. I am sorry that my gender causes you to behave in such an unforgivable manner. I am sorry for being out on the roads when it is dark. I am sorry for not considering the fact that you might be drunk and may not be able to control yourself. I am sorry for wearing jeans and t-shirts without considering the fact that they provoke you. Although, if I might say so, your gender seems to be wearing similar clothing and I don’t see any of you facing this. But my sincere apologies for not knowing that the sight of my arms and feet make you feel so helpless against your carnal desires. I am sorry that you do not get women who might want to engage in amorous activities with you unless you hold them against their will. I am sorry that you feel so powerless that you must exercise brute control over members of my gender to feel like a man. I am sorry that even little girls who haven’t even reached the age of five provoke you so much.
I am glad that my helplessness makes you feel good about yourself. I am glad that you manage to roam so freely in society, exercising your control over us to the fullest without suffering any consequences. I am glad that my government is kind enough to let you go unscathed every time.
I am sorry for the inconvenience the media cause you sometimes. I am sorry that they manage to make such a hype about it that the entire nation comes together every once in a while to protest against your existence. But I bet you are glad that after a couple of protests, it all dies down. That the enthusiasm is lost. That we all eventually forget and just be thankful that it wasn’t us this time. I bet you love your freedom and our government. I know you feel lucky when you rape a woman and nobody finds out. You love the fact that we do not have the courage to go up to the police and lodge a complaint. You must love the inefficiency of our police force. The few victims of yours who do manage to complain, get blamed themselves. For wearing short clothes or being out all alone despite the knowledge of such dangers. Don’t you just love how everybody gets blamed except for you? I bet you do.
Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for being a woman. I am sorry for the feeble fights we put up against you when you force yourself onto us. And I am extremely sorry for your filthy mindset. I understand that this is not your fault. It is just the way god has made you. You are a man and you are powerful. You must show it to the world somehow. And what better way than this? This is how you show that you are powerful, that no matter how educated I am, how smart I am, how strong I am, you will still be stronger and more powerful. You will have the upper hand. You will win. You have been winning for centuries and you shall be winning for centuries to come. I bow to you. Please accept my sincere apologies.

Yours fearfully,
A woman.

Je ne sais pas comment parler français!

Today, I had my French viva. And oh god, I messed it up so bad! Mostly because I had no idea what sir was saying. I did not even have any idea of what I myself was saying!
My college has these enrichment courses, one of which was French. I wanted to learn French so I enrolled for the French classes. It’s a 40 hour course, a crash course basically. It’s supposed to help me survive in France without sounding like a nimrod. It stresses more on vocabulary than grammar. So anyway, I had my viva today. And it was disastrous. He asked stuff like what my name is, my nationality and hobbies and where I live and all. Them, I could answer easily. Then he gave me a couple of nouns and I had to frame questions with them and ask him! I screwed that up so bad! He then asked me who my favorite author was. At least I think that’s what he asked me… I mean, I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was saying! The first time he asked me that, my reply was, “eh?!” He repeated the question and all I could say was, “er….”
He had to repeat the question 7 times in 7 different ways before I finally understood what he was saying!
Il a été catastrophique… Please pray that I do a little better in the written exam. 😛