A Guys Guide To Avoid Being A *Insert bad word*


How many times have you been told by a girl that guys are assholes/idiots/horrible/dicks/gits and so on? She may be your friend, your sister, your girlfriend (what did you do to piss her off? -_-), your colleague, whoever. But I bet you’ve been told so. Or at least you have been told by your friend that some girl said that to him. So, why? Why do girls think that guys are assholes/idiots/horrible/dicks/gits and so on? Lemme tell you why. It is because they are, they really are all that! Or at least they project themselves as all that. They are horrible, insensitive, incorrigible and totally immature! Mind you, I said guys, not men. Men may or may not be all that. And gentlemen are totally NOT all that (hey there, gentlemen of the blog world! I dont have a valentine! Just saying…).
So, I have put together for you ten pointers for how to avoid being a total insensitive train wreck and to impress your girl. Just enough to keep her urges to stab you with a blunt dagger at bay. Why? Because I am frankly sick of this stupid attitude of guys. I am probably too young for a gentleman to pay any attention to me, so boys, up your game, mate.

1. Listen to what a girl says. No, I do not mean just hearing her and nodding from time to time while fantasising about the unholy deeds you want to do to her. I mean, listen to what she says. Give your opinions about it. If no opinion is required, say something relevant to that topic so that she knows you are listening. If she is talking to you about sweaters for dogs, do not reply with, “shit man, I would love to see Natalie Portman in a rhinestone studded bikini, riding a horse!” No. Just no. If you do say that, do not blame anybody else for the shoe flying towards your face with vengeance.

2. Buy her flowers occasionally. Make sure she is not allergic to them, though.

3. Be a little chivalrous sometimes. Do the basics, hold the door for her, let her go through first. Dont insist on paying the bill all the time, dutch. Chivalry is not yet dead. Yes, we are all about equality now but I, personally, would like to feel a little cared about sometimes. I would like to know that a guy would still do these little things for me.

4. Don’t fart loudly when you are in public.

5. Manners. Chew with your mouths closed, please. Be kind. Do not make fun of her. Do not insult her. Do not make her cry. Do not laugh at her. Laughing with a girl and laughing at a girl, they are different. Figure out where the line is. Tell her she is beautiful. Be careful though, if she has been crying and is looking like a racoon, or is ill or something, tell her she “is” beautiful and not that she “looks” beautiful. Trust me, this little difference may save you a fresh lot of tears and a lot of screaming about how you are totally lying and how she is definitely not looking beautiful, etc. You may thank me later, boys.

6. The answer to “does this make me/my ass look fat?” is always no. ALWAYS. Dont try to be diplomatic and wriggle your way out of answering it. Believe me, you will have to pay for it.

7. Don’t cheat. Like seriously, how difficult is it for you guys to break up with someone before you hakuna somebody else’s tatas? If you are not into her anymore, man up and break up! Cheating is injurious to your health once she finds out. Besides, not cheating is so much easier. No complications, no lie juggling, no time juggling and no girl juggling! Dont play with somebody else’s emotions. Remember, somebody might actually be crazy enough to carry out her threat of cutting your appendages off.

8. “Who pissed in your breakfast?” “Are you PMSing?” “Is it that time of the month again?” and the likes of those questions are NEVER appropriate questions. EVER. Prepare to pay for a yearly supply of Ferero Rochers if you do ask them.

9. Be sweet to her. Tell her she looks beautiful when she does, tell her how you feel about her. Introduce her to your friends and be nice to her friends. Compliment her in front of her friends or yours. Let her know that you dont mind telling others that she is your girl. Let her know that you are not ashamed of her. I dont know what it is with you guys about expressing your “sweeter” emotions in front of your friends that makes your dick shrivel up and sob in a corner. It does not make you less of a dude. If you are so concerned about how a little emotion may mess with your masculinity, I suppose you should be more concerned about how weak your masculinity must be if it is threatened by such stupid issues.

10. The answer to “Do you think she is hot?” is almost ALWAYS no. Sometimes it may be “I dont know, I did not really notice.” And occasionally it can be “Hmm, but you’re hotter.” It can NEVER be “Yeah… She is kinda hot…” Because no matter how cool she seems with the answer, she has mentally prepared to use this incident in an argument three months henceforth.

Well, that’s all folks.

P.S. Does anybody want to be my valentine? I may be pathetic but I don’t bite! Promise!

Rabid Rooster, Malicious Microwave and Totally Terrific Tinker Bell!


Hello people!  I have two incidents to tell you about! One is a rooster incident and the other one I JUST forgot.  Hopefully it will come back to me while I type the rooster incident up.

So, my friend Aaheli was chased by a rooster. I kid you not. There was a rooster in front of the staff residential quarters of IHM (Institute of hotel management, for those who are not familiar with my blog :P). Why the rooster was there is beyond me, apparently it’s a pet. Why someone has a pet rooster in a college campus is once again, beyond my comprehension.

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So anyway, I went closer to him, completely amazed by his presence, and decided to click a picture. After clicking a couple of pictures, I decided to pet him. Aaheli was quietly standing, far away from me and the rooster. As I went closer to him to pet him, HE KICKED ME. He KICKED me and fell down! And I got scared so I ran! I ran behind Aaheli and he chased me! However, after I hid behind Aaheli, he decided to peck her instead. Because going all the way around her to peck me was a little too much exercise for him, I guess. So, he pecked Aaheli a couple of times, after which she gave up trying to shake him off and ran. Screaming all the way.  Ran for almost 50 meters and the rooster chased her all the way! I just sat down where I was standing and laughed and laughed till I couldn’t breathe! Finally the gardener saw her and threatened the rooster with a hose and the rooster came back, upon which I staggered away and hid behind a car. It was hilarious. I laughed for the rest of the day and she just huffed about the injustice of the whole thing, grumbling about how I was the one harassing him and how she had done nothing but stand there. It was HILARIOUS. I wish I recorded it. But I was too busy trying to breathe!

I have still not managed to remember what the second incident was. 😛

Oh oh, it was Shreya’s  birthday on 24th and I baked a red velvet cake, which did not really taste like a red velvet cake. (No, this is not the second incident.) But she loved it anyway. So, I’m happy. 😀 The cake actually looked pretty amazing after I baked it. Then by the night, the sides had become biscuit so I had to cut off the sides, so it became really tiny. I blame the microwave oven. And then I drenched it in chocolate sauce and made it all pretty with gems and tiny silver balls. Here, look!     

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Oh, my exams are fast approaching now. Finally. All my friends have started studying. I don’t know where half my notes are and I’m not even trying to look for them yet. I’m so gonna end up in deep shit. Oh, well.

Oh, have I shown you my new tattoo?? It’s tinkerbell!! Because she is my favorite Disney character! She is a magic, she is pretty, she falls in love with the wrong people (i.e. Peter Pan), she gets jealous, she makes wrong decisions, she makes mistakes, but she manages to do the right thing in the end anyway. And I love her. ^_^

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Okay, bye. 😀

The Pool, The Boy and The Laughing Cosmos


Life is kinda boring these days. I mean, college is closed for the moment since our exams are approaching. In July. And the university actually thinks that the students will actually study during the 2 months of study leave that they have scheduled for us.  Seriously, you’d think they were all born yesterday… But, anyway.
I am planning to get a second ear piercing done. And get my navel pierced. And get a tattoo. Wow, I’m my father’s little nightmare…

So anyhoo, what this post is actually about is my new crush. Yes, you read that right, I have a new crush! I don’t know what surprised me more, the fact that I actually managed to meet a guy being in an all girls college, or the fact that I actually managed to meet a decent guy at all! There’s a dearth of single decent guys in this city. If they are sweet and honest, they are taken. If they are sweet and flirty, they are probably dating 9 of your friends and you. If they are sweet, cute, flirty but honest, all at the same time, they are probably fictional characters. But I found one! And he’s real!!
We met at the pool. Yes, I swim. To lose weight. But I usually spend more time “chilling in the water” as he says, than I spend swimming.  So the losing weight part is not really happening. But anyway, we met at the pool, I developed a tiny crush on him, then we continued to talk and after the initial awkward conversations (I mentioned pee. Don’t even begin to ask. Really.) it was really quite perfect. He’s funny and sweet and single. And cute! But as my luck would have it, the pool closed down for 2 months because their filters broke down. Seriously, the entire cosmos is laughing at me. I just know it.

So anyway, he is also my mom’s student. My mom is a lecturer in Institute of Hotel Management (he wants to become a chef ). So, his exams were going on at that time, before the pool shut down, and he wasn’t going to the pool anyway. And obviously, neither was I. I mean, my sole incentive of going there on a regular basis was just not there anymore, so why bother? So, I went to my mom’s college instead, every evening, under the claims of meeting my mother because I was bored at home. Obviously I went to meet him. I mean, my mother comes back home after college, so why would I go to the college to meet her? So I met him everyday and my mother and her friend (who is like my second mother) obviously suspected that something was cooking. So every time they asked me about it, I denied it. Obviously. On the last day of his exams, however, they were convinced that something was going on. Because, I kept bugging them to come out with me to get a popsicle because I basically wanted to see if he was there or not  (also, I do like popsicles. Honest. But that’s not really why I had about 5 popsicles per day anyway… I basically had so many so that I would have an excuse to go out of the teachers’ room repeatedly and “accidentally” bump into him without seeming too suspicious to him or my mom an aunty) and I didn’t want to go alone because there would be other students too, and I don’t like crowds. And finally when aunty agreed to go with me after my mother flat out refused, we went out, got the popsicles and on our way back, we noticed him standing in front of the gate, talking to some teacher. And he obviously noticed us. Two minutes later, he came into the teachers’ room, where we all were, with some papers which he had to get signed by mom. After he went, my mom and aunty just looked at me and burst out laughing. When I protested against their suspicions and said that he only came in to get those papers signed, my mother told me that they were not even his papers, they were his friends’ papers so he did not need to come. But he did anyway.  Oh god, it was so embarrassing. And then later, I went out with aunty again and she kept saying that she knows that I’m only going because I want to see if he is there or not, which I vehemently denied, and while coming back, we noticed that he was still there. And the moment I stepped inside the college, he messaged me to come out (he was standing by his bike), and so I told aunty that I have to go outside for something and she was like, “ahaaaan, so he’s calling you to talk to hiiiiim?” I probably went red in the face, mumbled something and just ran out. Then I talked to him for like 15 mins or so and then I went back and we went home. The whole thing was really embarrassing.

So, I am tired of typing now, I will just tell y’all the rest of the story later! OKAYBYE!!

p.s. My tiny crush is now a HUGE crush.
p.p.s. Sorry for the horrible storytelling way but I’m really sleepy!

The Happiness Project


Happiness. The one thing that makes the world go round. Well, money too, but money kind of makes us happy so it just boils down to happiness. There are many unhappy people around you. I’m sure you could spot them if you look close enough.

ImageSo, I have for you a month long project. It should be fun, really. At the end of each week (say, every Sunday), I shall give you a task to do (so, a total of juts four tasks!), which I will be doing myself as well. And you will have the whole week to do it. You could click pictures of it or write about it or tell me about it through a comment or just keep it to yourself, whatever you prefer. But try and do it, that is all I ask of you. It will basically aim at making a friend or a stranger happy. BUT, you will have to do so anonymously. Up for it? 🙂

I guess we could start from today. So the task for this week will be- Write anonymous notes, they may be one-liners or whatever, complimenting the person about something or just saying something nice about him/her. Something that will make him/her smile. Put the note in an envelope, if you want, and leave it on his/her desk/bag/locker etc. Just try not to make it sound like an anonymous love letter, because I don’t want to be blamed for any embarrassing situations because somebody saw you putting a note in somebody’s bag. 😛

Have fun, lovely people!!

P.S. I got a new laptop!!! My first ever laptop!!!! I am so excited! It’s a Dell Inspiron laptop and that is where my technical knowledge of this magic device ends. 😛

Funny People. Funny People Everywhere.


I was just surfing through Facebook, like I usually do because I am frighteningly jobless (despite the fact the my exams start in a week!), checking all these fancy memes out and noticed this first comment on one of the memes. It is too hilarious, so I just HAD to share it with you guys! It’s by some guy named Chris Brenna. Hats off to the guy, he has my respect and admiration.

Here’s the comment: “I feel so honored to be the first comment. All of my hard work and dedication has paid off. Getting the top comment has been a dream of mine for many years, and i would like to thank those who have helped me along the way. First and foremost i would like to thank god for giving me this opportunity. Next i would like to thank my parents. I want to thank my friend Lassi Pohjonen, for being really skinny and always there for me. I would also like to thank my pet tadpole for surviving against all odds for over a week. Next i would like to thank the squirrel that lives in my backyard for climbing trees because that gives me inspiration that i need to get through the day. This is a special moment in my life and i would like to thank any of my unmentioned friends and family that have helped me along the way. This moment will be a moment that i will never forget. I just remmembered a few other people i would like to thank; facebook, the fish i caught in the third grade, my light in my room bc i wouldn’t be able to see the keyboard without it, the internet for letting me go on facebook, my house because without it i would be homeless, and last but not least i would like to thank all the people out there that actually took time out of their day to read this. I cannot stress how much of a big deal to me this is. I have been trying to be the first comment on a post for years, but that has not been possible until this amazing day. Hopefully my good luck will continue, but this is undoubtedly a rare occasion. If you asked me how i did this, i would say, you can achieve anything u set your mind on. To all the kids out there reading this, i would like to tell them to follow their dreams. Being the top comment is amazing, thank you everyone.”

Don’t you think it’s absolutely hilarious? 😀

Look, people!!


My mother made me a sweater jumper whatever the hell it is that you call it there where you live!

 

So anyway, what’s up? It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything new. Right? I think so anyway.. Oh! My French results are out! I got a very sucky 68% 😛
For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, I took a crash course in French. I gave my viva, which was disastrous and the written exam pretty much sucked too. I made up as many French sounding words that I could and, well, THAT was that.
Ah well, I have to go and complete my project now. Not project exactly, file work for the experiment that we had to do for psychology. Nothing interesting. I honestly don’t know why I even wrote this post. -_-