I Have Not Been Kidnapped, Murdered or Sold To Slavery!


The random female is back! I mean me. Long time no see! Probably because I have not been posting much. Or at all. Because I am lazy and am about to come up with about three excuses for not posting, none of which actually hindered my posting. Anyway, so since I have been AWOL, for reasons not mentioned, a lot has happened. I managed to pass my first year of college, for one! I actually managed to pass! Even though I studied for like, one day, I kid you not. But whatever, I am officially in second year. Which is also about to get over in about 5 months or so.

My not-a-relationship with Mexican Chocolate (remember him?) is going pretty well… I have passed the oh-my-god-i-just-know-you-like-my-friend-and-are-going-to-ask-her-out-soon-thus-you-are-alienating-me phase. It was not a pretty phase. I made sure we fought too much and cried like a corporation water supply tank. But it is over now, it is sunny with chance of kisses in NotARelationshipVille. I am happy now. At peace with my ass-biting insecurities that are now dormant.

As  far as college is concerned, it is not getting over fast enough. My selection exams are going on and I am going to fail each of my 7 papers because, I HAVE A PUPPY!!!! You read that right, I have a puppy! She is a Labrador, a black Labrador, named Mickey. She is two and a half months old and pees like there is no tomorrow. She pees 17 times a day, shits 4 times a day. She eats plastic, remote controls, slippers, shoes, tables, walls, leaves, clothes, bags, hair that is preferably attached to one’s scalp, bed sheets, books, newspapers and occasionally proper food. Her effed up diet is the reason I will fail all my papers because every time I decide to sit with my books, she decides that she must eat something inedible and I have to chase her around the house, body slam her and forcibly extract the remnants of what used to be peace from her mouth. Life is hectic at the moment. But I love her! And she loves to chew my hair and hand and clothes and shoes, so I will take the liberty of concluding that she loves me too.

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So anyway, I recently went to Delhi, Agra, Mathura and just touched Rajasthan during Christmas. I shopped looooads, for myself and friends, I saw historical monuments like Taj Mahal, Agra fort, Fatehpur Sikri and I ate dal makhni twice every single day. I gained weight, knowledge and clothes. I met my school friend in Delhi. We shopped, we ate, we drank (just a little bit), tried flavored shots (revolutionary stuff, I tell you!) and clicked so many pictures! And then we came back before new year. For new year I went  to a house party with my best friend, had fun, danced a little, blah blah blah. So, HAPPY NEW YEAR! What, I am only 15 days late… 😀

So, what did you guys do on Christmas and new year? Any new year resolutions? I refuse to make any since I never ever ever follow through anyway. Post the 5th of jan, all my resolutions are forgotten! So tell me about yours! And also tell me if you followed through last year’s resolutions… 😀

See you in some days!

p.s. thank you annamfranco, for following my blog recently! The notification I got in my mail informing me of the follow is what made me want to post again! So thank you! ^_^

Byee!

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The Catastrophic Beginning ^___^


I’m back, ladies and gentlemen! Again! To continue my story. About my crush and I.

So, continuing from the day after the whole college incident, we spoke on a daily basis but couldn’t meet much, as the pool had closed. Just my luck. But then we made plans to meet up one day, for coffee. So I went out to a park 15 minutes away from my house (on foot) to walk around a little bit and had planned to leave the park in half an hour and go meet him for coffee. But, as my luck would have it AGAIN, it started STORMING 25 minutes later. Yes. STORMING. Like there’s no tomorrow. And I got drenched in the rain and sent him a text saying that I wouldn’t be able to meet him as I was drenched, then I waited for five minutes for a reply, and when I didn’t get one, I put my phone inside my wallet (it fit, miraculously) and started walking back home. I had to walk the whole way thanks to the utter lack of conveyance. Once I reached home, 20 minutes and 5 random lecher-like comments from immature, hormonal and sex deprived strangers, I took a shower and then checked my phone to see that he had replied saying, “It’s okay, come anyway.” Talk about bad luck. I replied saying that I just saw the message and I am already home. So, that was a day wasted. But we made plans to meet the next day. However, that didn’t happen either. Because he got fever. And when he recovered and decided to meet, I had to go to my grandma’s place for some puja (a worshipping ceremony thingy. I don’t know how to explain it.). And when I returned and planned to meet, a sudden doctor’s appointment was slammed at my face. It was just not happening. It was irritating. As if the entire universe was conspiring against me! It was as if each and every particle in the universe was trying to keep me from meeting him, and trust me, I was pissed off. (Too dramatic?)

Anyway, after that, we finally made plans to go for a movie. It was a morning show and as usual, something just HAD to go wrong. I got fever the night before the movie. And I was feeling so weak that I couldn’t even get up and get a calpol or something and it was 1am so nobody else was awake. So I finally managed to fall asleep an hour later with the mother of all bad moods. I was furious and disgusted and just frustrated. I hated the fact that I would have to miss the date AGAIN. But, I woke up at 4:30am again, out of sheer irritation, and dragged myself out of the bed and somehow dug out a calpol from the depths of the medicine cabinet and had it. And then, with all the will power I could muster up, I willed my fever to get the hell away from me by morning. And it did! And I FINALLY managed to go meet him. We watched the movie and had lunch and then the moment came back home, I got fever again. But I was just so elated that I couldn’t care less. He is just wooooonnnnnnderful. ^___^

Oh, I also went to the doctor a couple of days ago. And my bad luck is radiating, the moment I stepped into the hospital, 15 minutes later, a fire broke out because of a faulty AC. In the children’s ward. A tiny one, put out in 5-10 minutes and nobody got hurt, but still. And, I now have an endoscopy, colonoscopy, x-ray, ultrasound and a couple of blood tests on my to-do list. Sucks to be me.

But he is WONDERFUL. ^_^

The Pool, The Boy and The Laughing Cosmos


Life is kinda boring these days. I mean, college is closed for the moment since our exams are approaching. In July. And the university actually thinks that the students will actually study during the 2 months of study leave that they have scheduled for us.  Seriously, you’d think they were all born yesterday… But, anyway.
I am planning to get a second ear piercing done. And get my navel pierced. And get a tattoo. Wow, I’m my father’s little nightmare…

So anyhoo, what this post is actually about is my new crush. Yes, you read that right, I have a new crush! I don’t know what surprised me more, the fact that I actually managed to meet a guy being in an all girls college, or the fact that I actually managed to meet a decent guy at all! There’s a dearth of single decent guys in this city. If they are sweet and honest, they are taken. If they are sweet and flirty, they are probably dating 9 of your friends and you. If they are sweet, cute, flirty but honest, all at the same time, they are probably fictional characters. But I found one! And he’s real!!
We met at the pool. Yes, I swim. To lose weight. But I usually spend more time “chilling in the water” as he says, than I spend swimming.  So the losing weight part is not really happening. But anyway, we met at the pool, I developed a tiny crush on him, then we continued to talk and after the initial awkward conversations (I mentioned pee. Don’t even begin to ask. Really.) it was really quite perfect. He’s funny and sweet and single. And cute! But as my luck would have it, the pool closed down for 2 months because their filters broke down. Seriously, the entire cosmos is laughing at me. I just know it.

So anyway, he is also my mom’s student. My mom is a lecturer in Institute of Hotel Management (he wants to become a chef ). So, his exams were going on at that time, before the pool shut down, and he wasn’t going to the pool anyway. And obviously, neither was I. I mean, my sole incentive of going there on a regular basis was just not there anymore, so why bother? So, I went to my mom’s college instead, every evening, under the claims of meeting my mother because I was bored at home. Obviously I went to meet him. I mean, my mother comes back home after college, so why would I go to the college to meet her? So I met him everyday and my mother and her friend (who is like my second mother) obviously suspected that something was cooking. So every time they asked me about it, I denied it. Obviously. On the last day of his exams, however, they were convinced that something was going on. Because, I kept bugging them to come out with me to get a popsicle because I basically wanted to see if he was there or not  (also, I do like popsicles. Honest. But that’s not really why I had about 5 popsicles per day anyway… I basically had so many so that I would have an excuse to go out of the teachers’ room repeatedly and “accidentally” bump into him without seeming too suspicious to him or my mom an aunty) and I didn’t want to go alone because there would be other students too, and I don’t like crowds. And finally when aunty agreed to go with me after my mother flat out refused, we went out, got the popsicles and on our way back, we noticed him standing in front of the gate, talking to some teacher. And he obviously noticed us. Two minutes later, he came into the teachers’ room, where we all were, with some papers which he had to get signed by mom. After he went, my mom and aunty just looked at me and burst out laughing. When I protested against their suspicions and said that he only came in to get those papers signed, my mother told me that they were not even his papers, they were his friends’ papers so he did not need to come. But he did anyway.  Oh god, it was so embarrassing. And then later, I went out with aunty again and she kept saying that she knows that I’m only going because I want to see if he is there or not, which I vehemently denied, and while coming back, we noticed that he was still there. And the moment I stepped inside the college, he messaged me to come out (he was standing by his bike), and so I told aunty that I have to go outside for something and she was like, “ahaaaan, so he’s calling you to talk to hiiiiim?” I probably went red in the face, mumbled something and just ran out. Then I talked to him for like 15 mins or so and then I went back and we went home. The whole thing was really embarrassing.

So, I am tired of typing now, I will just tell y’all the rest of the story later! OKAYBYE!!

p.s. My tiny crush is now a HUGE crush.
p.p.s. Sorry for the horrible storytelling way but I’m really sleepy!

How To Attract a Guy


I admit, I am not the best person to write a post like this. I mean, I seem to be a douche magnet. All the guys I have dated have turned out to be complete douchebags. And the ONE decent guy i manage to find happens to be WAY out of my league. So, for obvious reasons, I am the wrong girl to write a post with that title. Therefore I shall tell you what NOT to do if you are trying to catch Mr. Hottie’s attention. Basically, it’s everything I have ever done. Living the Murphy life. So here goes-

1. Let us assume that you haven’t got the guts to talk to that guy, for whatever reasons. But some random day, you wake up with this new found determination, fuelled by ingestion of unimaginable amount of alcohol or sleep deprivation, to talk to the guy, do NOT start your conversation by saying something like, “Hi, I’m so bored that I’m ready to carry out a full fledged conversation with a chair, so what’s up?” No. Don’t do that. While it may sound funny to you now, notice how you end up calling the guy a chair. And calling a guy a piece of furniture used to park your butt on is not a very effective way of attracting him. Speaking from personal experience. The guy never spoke to me again. For obvious reasons.
Moving on,

2. Now lets assume that you do manage to strike up a conversation that sounds a little intelligent, make sure that you do not end up staring at the guy with wonder and stars in your eyes and completely tune out. Because if he asks for your opinion about something and you just agree to it blindly, because you weren’t really paying attention to what he was saying so you have no clue about what he asked, you might just end up agreeing that buying his mother a green monkey with pink polka dots on it for her birthday is a brilliant idea. Not a good thing to happen. He will lose interest in you if he thinks that you have no interest in whatever he says.

3. Now lets assume that you both have managed to continue your oh-so-intelligent-and-interesting-conversation for about 15-20 minutes and have now decided to talk about music. If it so happens that he loves rock and metal and you love pop, steer away. STEER AWAY I tell you. Dangerous territory. Apparently, it is VERY important for the guys to know that the girl he is interested in has similar interest in music as him. So I’ve come to know recently. And God forbid that you ever say something negative about his favourite artist… He will verbally rape you. If he is the badass type that is. And majority of the girls go for the badass types.

4. Further assuming that you have managed to survive the conversation and have managed not to bore him thoroughly, you need to make sure that you don’t repel him unknowingly. Don’t act like a kid. Its annoying. Don’t go all pink princess on him either. He feel probably end up feeling nauseated. Don’t yell at him unnecessarily. Don’t get offended at every little thing he does. You were the one who was attracted to him, so accept him as he is.
And finally,

5. DO NOT go all forever and always on him. Never do that. Unless you are positive that he feels the same way. If the guy is sort of commitment phobic, he will sprint the other direction before you can say “kids”. So before you start deciding the color of your bedroom walls and middle names of your six children, make sure that he won’t vamoose at the thought of it.
p.s. I have never done this!! Talk kids I mean. This is something I heard about. So just mentioning it.

And there. 5 tips. Aren’t I the best? 😉