Dear Cosmos, PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!!


Okay.
Day before yesterday, our driver left the new car ( Renault┬áDuster!!!) in reverse gear by mistake and shut off the engine and left it in dad’s office. So when dad came and started the engine, the car rolled backwards and slammed into a wall and now the car’s ass had gone for a toss. Poor Vijay bhaiya (our driver) got a scolding.

Then, after swimming, I came out of the shower and went out to go home and a crow shat (is that the past tense for shit? what is the past tense for shit?) on my head. A CROW SHAT (?) ON MY HEAD. Right after I had shampooed.
Then, I lost a diamond earring. It is also a very bad sign, superstitiously speaking.
Then, the next day, our washing machine started leaking.
Then after some time, our aqua-guard stopped working.
Then in the evening it was raining, so I went to the terrace, happily got drenched and came back down, only to find that all the towels had been washed (before the machine went for a toss), so all of them are wet. ALL THE TOWELS.
Then I slipped and fell because I was wet and tiles are slippery and have this pent up rage saved for me and my poorly coordinated limbs.

How cool, no?
And one of our lovebirds had a baaaabyyyy!!!!! LOOK!!Image

That is it. That is all i have to report.

Oh, and yesterday, Mexican Chocolate and I went to this cafe called Choco Cafe and good lord, the food was so BLEH. He nearly killed me because I was the one who dragged him there. In my defense, one would think that a place named Choco Cafe would be good… Apparently not. ­čśŤ

AND, I am going through a  RED phase. I LOVE RED.

Image

Okay, BYE! ^_^

Off With Cupid’s Head!


Recently, when my exams were going on, me and three of my friend were going back home after the exam in my friend’s car. As we got into the car, I refrained from asking the million dollar question, “Which seat should I take?”.

image

There was just ONE seat left. What would she do in a football stadium? Die of sensory overload?

But other than being faced with the dilemma of chosing a seat, one of my friend’s boyfriend called her up to ask how her exam went. They talked for a while, and as she hung up, my other friend got a call from her boyfriend asking how her exam went. They too talked for a while, and as she hung up, my third friend’s boyfriend called her up, asking the same. However, when she hung up, my boyfriend did not call me up. You know why? Because I do not have one. Probably because I am above that gender. Or am far to smart and scare the boys off. I’m hopeless. So anyway, I awkwardly kept staring at my phone, begging it to ring, mentally of course. But no, not even my mom called up to ask how my exam went.

So, I started wondering, why the hell is Cupid slacking off his job when I’m on the line?

image

So that’s what he’s been doing…
(source: http://www.shutterstock.com)

I mean, most of my friends seem to have boyfriends. So where’s mine? I know I’m just 18, well, almost, and have a lifetime to wait for the dolt to show up in my life, but still. Why can’t Cupid shoot some fake arrows my way till he’s ready to aim the real thing? You know, like the rubber bullets cops use to scare the shit out of people? And no, the weirdo from Wales does not count.

Apparntly, he wants to “date” me. Cross country. Not to mention continent. I checked his profile and saw that he was in an e-relationship with some chick in Scotland. And from what I figured out, the girl “did not have a phone” but “loved him a lot” and “missed him too.” Their “love was strong enough” to “break through the barrier of distance” (and the lack of a phone) and “continue to exist” on that weird social networking site.
Thanks but no, thanks. I do not want a relationship like that. It would be just weird.
I’d rather be single…

But, bottom line is, Cupid has either passed out, or is having a major hangover, or has resigned, or thinks I’m beyond help, or has been face-walled.

image

And that is what I mean by “getting Face-Walled.”

Anyway, I lost track of what I was gonna say. I lost the point. So basically, you read all this rubbish for nothing. I think I’ll just shut my cakehole and sod off. Bye!