I Have Not Been Kidnapped, Murdered or Sold To Slavery!

The random female is back! I mean me. Long time no see! Probably because I have not been posting much. Or at all. Because I am lazy and am about to come up with about three excuses for not posting, none of which actually hindered my posting. Anyway, so since I have been AWOL, for reasons not mentioned, a lot has happened. I managed to pass my first year of college, for one! I actually managed to pass! Even though I studied for like, one day, I kid you not. But whatever, I am officially in second year. Which is also about to get over in about 5 months or so.

My not-a-relationship with Mexican Chocolate (remember him?) is going pretty well… I have passed the oh-my-god-i-just-know-you-like-my-friend-and-are-going-to-ask-her-out-soon-thus-you-are-alienating-me phase. It was not a pretty phase. I made sure we fought too much and cried like a corporation water supply tank. But it is over now, it is sunny with chance of kisses in NotARelationshipVille. I am happy now. At peace with my ass-biting insecurities that are now dormant.

As  far as college is concerned, it is not getting over fast enough. My selection exams are going on and I am going to fail each of my 7 papers because, I HAVE A PUPPY!!!! You read that right, I have a puppy! She is a Labrador, a black Labrador, named Mickey. She is two and a half months old and pees like there is no tomorrow. She pees 17 times a day, shits 4 times a day. She eats plastic, remote controls, slippers, shoes, tables, walls, leaves, clothes, bags, hair that is preferably attached to one’s scalp, bed sheets, books, newspapers and occasionally proper food. Her effed up diet is the reason I will fail all my papers because every time I decide to sit with my books, she decides that she must eat something inedible and I have to chase her around the house, body slam her and forcibly extract the remnants of what used to be peace from her mouth. Life is hectic at the moment. But I love her! And she loves to chew my hair and hand and clothes and shoes, so I will take the liberty of concluding that she loves me too.


So anyway, I recently went to Delhi, Agra, Mathura and just touched Rajasthan during Christmas. I shopped looooads, for myself and friends, I saw historical monuments like Taj Mahal, Agra fort, Fatehpur Sikri and I ate dal makhni twice every single day. I gained weight, knowledge and clothes. I met my school friend in Delhi. We shopped, we ate, we drank (just a little bit), tried flavored shots (revolutionary stuff, I tell you!) and clicked so many pictures! And then we came back before new year. For new year I went  to a house party with my best friend, had fun, danced a little, blah blah blah. So, HAPPY NEW YEAR! What, I am only 15 days late… 😀

So, what did you guys do on Christmas and new year? Any new year resolutions? I refuse to make any since I never ever ever follow through anyway. Post the 5th of jan, all my resolutions are forgotten! So tell me about yours! And also tell me if you followed through last year’s resolutions… 😀

See you in some days!

p.s. thank you annamfranco, for following my blog recently! The notification I got in my mail informing me of the follow is what made me want to post again! So thank you! ^_^



The Pool, The Boy and The Laughing Cosmos

Life is kinda boring these days. I mean, college is closed for the moment since our exams are approaching. In July. And the university actually thinks that the students will actually study during the 2 months of study leave that they have scheduled for us.  Seriously, you’d think they were all born yesterday… But, anyway.
I am planning to get a second ear piercing done. And get my navel pierced. And get a tattoo. Wow, I’m my father’s little nightmare…

So anyhoo, what this post is actually about is my new crush. Yes, you read that right, I have a new crush! I don’t know what surprised me more, the fact that I actually managed to meet a guy being in an all girls college, or the fact that I actually managed to meet a decent guy at all! There’s a dearth of single decent guys in this city. If they are sweet and honest, they are taken. If they are sweet and flirty, they are probably dating 9 of your friends and you. If they are sweet, cute, flirty but honest, all at the same time, they are probably fictional characters. But I found one! And he’s real!!
We met at the pool. Yes, I swim. To lose weight. But I usually spend more time “chilling in the water” as he says, than I spend swimming.  So the losing weight part is not really happening. But anyway, we met at the pool, I developed a tiny crush on him, then we continued to talk and after the initial awkward conversations (I mentioned pee. Don’t even begin to ask. Really.) it was really quite perfect. He’s funny and sweet and single. And cute! But as my luck would have it, the pool closed down for 2 months because their filters broke down. Seriously, the entire cosmos is laughing at me. I just know it.

So anyway, he is also my mom’s student. My mom is a lecturer in Institute of Hotel Management (he wants to become a chef ). So, his exams were going on at that time, before the pool shut down, and he wasn’t going to the pool anyway. And obviously, neither was I. I mean, my sole incentive of going there on a regular basis was just not there anymore, so why bother? So, I went to my mom’s college instead, every evening, under the claims of meeting my mother because I was bored at home. Obviously I went to meet him. I mean, my mother comes back home after college, so why would I go to the college to meet her? So I met him everyday and my mother and her friend (who is like my second mother) obviously suspected that something was cooking. So every time they asked me about it, I denied it. Obviously. On the last day of his exams, however, they were convinced that something was going on. Because, I kept bugging them to come out with me to get a popsicle because I basically wanted to see if he was there or not  (also, I do like popsicles. Honest. But that’s not really why I had about 5 popsicles per day anyway… I basically had so many so that I would have an excuse to go out of the teachers’ room repeatedly and “accidentally” bump into him without seeming too suspicious to him or my mom an aunty) and I didn’t want to go alone because there would be other students too, and I don’t like crowds. And finally when aunty agreed to go with me after my mother flat out refused, we went out, got the popsicles and on our way back, we noticed him standing in front of the gate, talking to some teacher. And he obviously noticed us. Two minutes later, he came into the teachers’ room, where we all were, with some papers which he had to get signed by mom. After he went, my mom and aunty just looked at me and burst out laughing. When I protested against their suspicions and said that he only came in to get those papers signed, my mother told me that they were not even his papers, they were his friends’ papers so he did not need to come. But he did anyway.  Oh god, it was so embarrassing. And then later, I went out with aunty again and she kept saying that she knows that I’m only going because I want to see if he is there or not, which I vehemently denied, and while coming back, we noticed that he was still there. And the moment I stepped inside the college, he messaged me to come out (he was standing by his bike), and so I told aunty that I have to go outside for something and she was like, “ahaaaan, so he’s calling you to talk to hiiiiim?” I probably went red in the face, mumbled something and just ran out. Then I talked to him for like 15 mins or so and then I went back and we went home. The whole thing was really embarrassing.

So, I am tired of typing now, I will just tell y’all the rest of the story later! OKAYBYE!!

p.s. My tiny crush is now a HUGE crush.
p.p.s. Sorry for the horrible storytelling way but I’m really sleepy!

Je ne sais pas comment parler français!

Today, I had my French viva. And oh god, I messed it up so bad! Mostly because I had no idea what sir was saying. I did not even have any idea of what I myself was saying!
My college has these enrichment courses, one of which was French. I wanted to learn French so I enrolled for the French classes. It’s a 40 hour course, a crash course basically. It’s supposed to help me survive in France without sounding like a nimrod. It stresses more on vocabulary than grammar. So anyway, I had my viva today. And it was disastrous. He asked stuff like what my name is, my nationality and hobbies and where I live and all. Them, I could answer easily. Then he gave me a couple of nouns and I had to frame questions with them and ask him! I screwed that up so bad! He then asked me who my favorite author was. At least I think that’s what he asked me… I mean, I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was saying! The first time he asked me that, my reply was, “eh?!” He repeated the question and all I could say was, “er….”
He had to repeat the question 7 times in 7 different ways before I finally understood what he was saying!
Il a été catastrophique… Please pray that I do a little better in the written exam. 😛

Mosquitoes, IV Drips and Disgusting Hospital Food!

Dengue fever, also known as breakbone fever, is a PAIN in all the wrong places. Really. It’s a tropical disease and is transmitted by several species of mosquitoes. And of course, one of them bit me. So here I am, sitting in the hospital for the eleventh day now, bored out of my wits. Therefore, I decided to blog about it. Simply because I have nothing else to do! If you get dengue, you get high fever, body and headache, your platelet count falls and if it’s damn serious, you might need a blood transfusion. And whoever said that hospital food sucks, he was damn right! It sucks!! I honestly don’t have a better word to describe it’s… suckiness! I puked after 3 days of tolerating that shit. From the fourth day onwards, I made mom get me food from home. Yes, the doctor allowed it.

Now that THAT’S outa the way, let me start from the beginning.

It all started on….well… I’m not sure, actually. Obviously it started with a mosquito bite… I dunno when that happened. So anyway, we were all very excited about our college fest because of the opportunity we would get to participate and win stuff and get certificates and all. Also because other colleges would come to attend. Other colleges with guys in it. And believe me, for students of an all girls college, that’s a BIG freaking deal. Yeah. So, we were all psyched about the fest. I was supposed to volunteer for the eastern cultural dance programme. Which I did. And damn, it was tedious! They turned me into a coat hanger, a waitress, a GPRS and a bounty hunter of sorts! But I pretended to be okay with it cause I’d get a certificate for it later on. And I’d get to enjoy the other two days when all the cool events were to happen. Only, the stars weren’t aligned in my favor. I went home and went down with fever. High fever. Randomly. And since everybody is getting dengue nowadays, my dad forced me to get a blood test done. And tada! It came out positive for dengue! So I was admitted to the hospital. Initially I was sort of happy cuz I wouldn’t have to go to college. The happiness evaporated, however, when the nurse came in with a big ass injection. Saline. Joy.
After a couple of chantings of “OhmygodohmygodOHMYFREAKINGOD!!!” the deed was done. The channel was shoved into my vein. And it hurt like a bitch for the first couple of hours. Then it was not as a big a bother as I thought it would be. Except that I had to pee every second. Okay, not second. Hour. Every goddamned hour.
So anyway, two days from the day I got admitted, the doctors were not worried about my platelet count anymore. Because along with my platelets, my WBC count took a suicide fall too. It went down to a whooping 1300, and 4000 is the bare minimum normal whatever. The doctors were all panicking and started talking bone marrow transfusion and other fancy medical terms while I was calmly scrolling through Pinterest. What else could I do? Nothing. Then they put me on antibiotics and thankfully, no bone marrow transfusion was required. Eventually they remembered that my platelet count was down too. But nobody really gave a damn bout that. Everybody was just concerned about the WBC count. Anyway, then both the counts went up and I’m about to be discharged in a few hours now!

So, lemme tell you about a typical day in the hospital.

At 5.45am, a person would inevitably knock on the door EVERY single day, to suck blood. With a syringe. For a blood test. Did I mention that this happens everyday?
Then, after that guy leaves you the hell alone, by 6.30am, a nurse would come in, wake you up, practically shove you into the bathroom with your toothbrush and change the bed linens while you’re brushing. And no, it doesn’t matter if you have a 103 degree fever. It doesn’t matter if your body is aching like hell. It doesn’t matter if you are feeling like shit on fire that particular morning. It doesn’t matter if you have been partially digested by a freaking cobra. If the nurse asks you to get up and brush, you get the hell up and brush.
Then, by 7 am, right when you go back to sleep after brushing, somebody else will knock at the door with your breakfast tray. Half an hour hence, a nurse will come in to check your temperature and measure your blood pressure. Then the doctor comes for his morning round. After the doctor checks your vitals and all, you are free for a couple of hours. I usually chose to sleep for those couple of hours. Then by 12, you get lunch. After which, another nurse would come in to check your vitals again and give meds and all. Then I usually chose to sleep till some other people came to bug me. Basically, there’s no peace. Really. No peace. There’s always someone who needs to check something.

Anyway, Sweet Home Alabama is starting, gotta watch it for the millionth time, so bye!

P.s. My hand is also starting to hurt now cuz of the saline thingy which they removed today in the morning. So, tata!

Karma is Catching Up, I Think.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a kingdom called Calcutta. Okay, well, she wasn’t really little. And it wasn’t really a kingdom. She was quite grown up. Legally, an adult. And Calcutta was far from being a kingdom. It was a city. A city full of chaos. A city where everything moved at a terribly slow pace. A city, where all its inhabitants seemed to sleep forever. Nobody seemed to want much from life. A city where nothing developed, except for streetlamps and flyovers. In spite of all this, it was called the city of joy. It used to be the capital of the country. It used to be beautiful. The girl couldn’t understand how the beauty of the city eroded into what it became. But it was still home. Though it was beginning to feel like a cage.

The girl wanted to go out. She wanted to visit places. She wanted to leave the country and roam the world. She wanted to experience all the cultures, wanted to see all the beauty the world had to offer, wanted to meet different people. She wanted to live. But times weren’t easy for her. She was trapped in the city. She had to remain there for three years to finish her graduation, after which her father had promised to send her wherever she wished to go, within reason, by any means.

He was a good man, her father. He always took care of her. Never let her want for anything. He would give her everything he could before she could ask for it. But the girl wasn’t spoilt. She valued things. She valued everything. And she knew that her father would keep his promise.

She attended a supposedly good college. The college had good name. But that was it. Like every other institution in Calcutta, it was all on the surface. Initially, she couldn’t fathom how the college managed to maintain its name. Then one day, it all made sense to her. NAAC, an accreditation body, funded by the government, had come to visit and inspect the college. It would later grade the college. And of course, the college had to look its best for them. Then the grooming started. First, they started painting. No, not the entire college. Just the patches where the paint had come off over time. And it wasn’t even the same shade of dull yellow. It wasn’t done a month before the visit, though. So the entire building was smelling of paint when the NAAC representatives came to visit. Smart move, she thought to herself. And they made all the students of the college wear semi formal clothes as well. And, they actually installed WiFi for those three days. They scrubbed and dusted and cleaned and polished every corner of the college. They even painted the boards black. The girl was flabbergasted. It all made sense to her, how the college maintained its name and grade. It was all a facade. They were all pretentious, to an extent. No classes were held for the girl and her batch that day. So she did not know how the NAAC representatives graded their teaching method and all.
That day, she realized that they were all faking it. The authorities, the students, the teachers. Every one of them. Perhaps the entire world was faking it, she wasn’t sure.

But anyway, the girl had learnt to accept a lot of things in life, so she accepted that too, with a smile on her face. For, what else could she do?

Days dragged on and on. Classes were tiresome, schedules were tedious.
One day, she had the greatest and most uncontrollable urge to use the washroom. Nature was calling her. Not softly either. Nature was screaming through a mic into her ear. So she decided to use the college washrooms. Usually, she avoided public washrooms. But that day, she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. And of course, when you know you should avoid doing something but you do it anyway, it comes back and bites you in the arse. The girl got an E.Coli infection. The college had once again proved that it was not what it should be. That day, she realized that they had never come across the new age product called “disinfectant” either. She could not attend college the next day. So she stayed back at home, sat down on her bed armed with a bottle of water and a bottle of medicine, flipped out her phone and typed all of the above down.

Okay, bye.

Just a Little Something You Shouldn’t Bother Reading.

So I am in class right now. And we are studying Arms and the Man. Well, the rest of the class is. I am typing this. Its just so bloody boring! Not the play. The way ma’am is teaching it. I mean, its amazing really. How these teachers make me want to slip into coma. Or something. Even Facebook has nothing interesting to offer. -_-
Bloody hell.

the view outside is so pretty! Or id like to pretend so. I can just see coconut trees and a couple of kids. And there’s still 15 more minutes to go. And then I can go hoooome!

Well. It was nice whining on the world wide web. Bye for now! I think the teacher can see me. If so, im screwed.

Ah, well.

I will whine. Because I can.

Well, this is frustrating. I have written and rewritten the first line of this post at least five times now. This is the sixth attempt. I just can’t find an appropriate way to start this! So much for studying English for 15 years now. I’m just gonna say it. I’m jealous. Incredibly horribly and utterly jealous. Not of any particular person though. Just of people in general. I’m just so frustrated with life at the moment! And to be honest, I shouldn’t be. I have a lot to be thankful for. Like water. Oxygen. Family. Friends. Nail polishes. Clothes. Shoes. Chewing gum, which I can’t have because of braces. AC. Books. A home. IPod. A phone. Freedom. Legal rights. You get my drift? No? Okay. I kinda lost my drift too. Anyway, even though I have a LOT to be thankful for, petty things are making me feel down. Like the fact that I’m STILL stuck in my hometown. So many of my friends have gone to other states for college. So many of them even went abroad to study. And I’m still here. And this city is suffocating me now. I so horribly want to get out of this city. But I can’t. Mainly because I’ll lose out on my education cuz the only way I’m getting out of here right now is by running away. And that ain’t gonna do no good. I’ve to finish my graduation here. Speaking of which, I’m in a girls college, which I’ve already whined about far too many times. I love my new friends, but hate the college. I mean, we are not allowed to use our cell phones in the college building! Wtf?! I mean, it makes sense if they dont allow us to use it in class, but the entire bloody building?? Really? And, I can’t even bunk. If we bunk a day, we have to write a note and give it to our principal, who is incidentally a NUN. She will sign the note and then we have to get that signed note signed by EVERY other teacher who teaches us. And if we bunk a specific class, the next day, that teacher is gonna ask for the leave note and then you’re fucked because the nun is gonna give you grief about bunking classes. Even bunking is tedious!
THEN there’s the not-so-relevant issue about me not having a boyfriend. Which is sort of cool cuz there’s zilch drama in my life at the moment. But still, when some of my friends talk about their boyfriends and get all mushy and cute while yapping about them, I just get a wee bit jealous. I mean, I want all the cute stuff too! But still, I guess I can do without it.

And now my fingers are aching from typing so I’m gonna stop. Yes, I’m just that lazy. Also, I think that’s enough whining for a day.

Here’s a funny picture to make up for the gibberish above.