I Have Not Been Kidnapped, Murdered or Sold To Slavery!


The random female is back! I mean me. Long time no see! Probably because I have not been posting much. Or at all. Because I am lazy and am about to come up with about three excuses for not posting, none of which actually hindered my posting. Anyway, so since I have been AWOL, for reasons not mentioned, a lot has happened. I managed to pass my first year of college, for one! I actually managed to pass! Even though I studied for like, one day, I kid you not. But whatever, I am officially in second year. Which is also about to get over in about 5 months or so.

My not-a-relationship with Mexican Chocolate (remember him?) is going pretty well… I have passed the oh-my-god-i-just-know-you-like-my-friend-and-are-going-to-ask-her-out-soon-thus-you-are-alienating-me phase. It was not a pretty phase. I made sure we fought too much and cried like a corporation water supply tank. But it is over now, it is sunny with chance of kisses in NotARelationshipVille. I am happy now. At peace with my ass-biting insecurities that are now dormant.

As  far as college is concerned, it is not getting over fast enough. My selection exams are going on and I am going to fail each of my 7 papers because, I HAVE A PUPPY!!!! You read that right, I have a puppy! She is a Labrador, a black Labrador, named Mickey. She is two and a half months old and pees like there is no tomorrow. She pees 17 times a day, shits 4 times a day. She eats plastic, remote controls, slippers, shoes, tables, walls, leaves, clothes, bags, hair that is preferably attached to one’s scalp, bed sheets, books, newspapers and occasionally proper food. Her effed up diet is the reason I will fail all my papers because every time I decide to sit with my books, she decides that she must eat something inedible and I have to chase her around the house, body slam her and forcibly extract the remnants of what used to be peace from her mouth. Life is hectic at the moment. But I love her! And she loves to chew my hair and hand and clothes and shoes, so I will take the liberty of concluding that she loves me too.

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So anyway, I recently went to Delhi, Agra, Mathura and just touched Rajasthan during Christmas. I shopped looooads, for myself and friends, I saw historical monuments like Taj Mahal, Agra fort, Fatehpur Sikri and I ate dal makhni twice every single day. I gained weight, knowledge and clothes. I met my school friend in Delhi. We shopped, we ate, we drank (just a little bit), tried flavored shots (revolutionary stuff, I tell you!) and clicked so many pictures! And then we came back before new year. For new year I went  to a house party with my best friend, had fun, danced a little, blah blah blah. So, HAPPY NEW YEAR! What, I am only 15 days late… 😀

So, what did you guys do on Christmas and new year? Any new year resolutions? I refuse to make any since I never ever ever follow through anyway. Post the 5th of jan, all my resolutions are forgotten! So tell me about yours! And also tell me if you followed through last year’s resolutions… 😀

See you in some days!

p.s. thank you annamfranco, for following my blog recently! The notification I got in my mail informing me of the follow is what made me want to post again! So thank you! ^_^

Byee!

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Because I’m the Big Sister.


Lets start from the very beginning, shall we? Of course we shall. I’m the one writing this shit! Haha! Anyway.

When I was a small little girl (missing teeth, doe eyes, strong belief in the existance of the tooth fairy and Santa Clause, habit of rambling on about utter gibberish and all that jazz), I wanted a baby sister. One whom I could play with, dress up, do her hair, share secrets with, blame everything on, hang out with and tell on.

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Don’t they look cute?

And since I used to think that God sends the babies to the mother’s womb (What? I was a kid!), I prayed to God every night for a baby sister. Well, almost every night. Sometimes I prayed for a puppy too.

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I’m sure I never looked that cute while praying…

So, anyway, eventually, after a few months, God answered my prayers. No, not the one about the baby sister. About the puppy. My parents showed up with a small white moving furball, that I later realized was a puppy. He was a Spitz, and I named him Tuffy.

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But, this post is not about Tuffy. So lets get back to the story.

Right. So, after I guess two years, my mom became a balloon. Well, not an actual balloon. Imagine that! Haha! Damn, I keep getting side-tracked… Anyway, after nine months, my second prayer was going to be answered. I was ecstatic.
So, months passed, my mom became crankier by the day, not to metion bigger. And finally, the day came when she was vroomed off to the hospital, to have the baby. I almost peed my pants, I was so excited. After a couple of hours (or more probably), the baby was born! I couldn’t wait to see her!
That day, in the evening, I was taken to the hospital to see the baby. And my mom. But lets just focus on the baby now. So, I was lead to this huge white room, with a huge glass window and a million beds inside the room. Ok, not a million. But still. The beds, I noticed, had babies inside them too! And I was so worried about not bein able to recognize my baby sister, because obviously, I had never seen her before. But the nurse led me toward the corner of the room, which I wasn’t allowed to enter by the way, and pointed to a tiny little sleeping baby, and said, “That’s your baby brother.”
Imagine my surprise.
Or horror. Whichever you prefer.
I was aghast! The baby was supposed to be a girl! I was convinced that the stupid nurse was mistaken. But when my mom later confirmed, that the baby was indeed a boy, I was disappointed. I was convinced that God was deaf. Or had selective hearing power. Actually no, I had never thought the latter. I did not even know the words selective hearing let alone what it meant. But anyway.
My mother was not very impressed when I suggested that she could exchange the baby boy with any of the baby girls in the white room with the glass window, nobody would notice because all the babies looked the same anyway. Needless to say, the suggestion was rejected. And so the baby boy went home.
Yes, I learned to love him, after a couple of (or maybe a score of) episodes of pinching him while he slept at night. But that’s okay. It can be overlooked.
Today, he is 12 years old. And evolution has failed to have any effect on him, whatsoever. He irritates me till I am ready to strangle him, or myself. Licks the TV remote so that I don’t touch it. Puts pictures of me inside the refrigerator and after a couple of hours asks me if I’m feeling cold or not. Imitates me for hours. Pulls my hair out and tapes it to his notebook and captions it as “Ana’s DNA”. Eats my chocolates. Tells on me. And really, if I start listing the things he does to bug me, this post will never end.

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My life. All of that, in loop.

But, all that been said, I guess I have to admit that my life would be as boring as the life of a staircase of an abandoned building without him. Atleast, with him around, I never get bored. Ever.  😀