Bloody Nail and Tap in the Spleen


So, yesterday I posted about how I walked into a rusted iron sign post, today was no better either.

So I went to this cyber cafe to print some posters, and by some I mean 11 posters (and they are amaaaazing). The first mildly bad thing happened there. I opened the keyboard slider case thingy in the table and it slid across my finger near the nail, effectively slicing open my cuticle and the skin underneath it. It was bloody. A little.

Then, when I came back home after the second failed attempt to have the best Oreo shake in the Milky Way galaxy because the shop was closed, I had to use the washroom for some god forsaken reason. I was in my friend’s room and while walking into the washroom, I did not manage to stop walking on time and as a result walked into the tap. Which almost punctured my spleen. Because I did not stop on time. It really can’t get any worse in one day.

P.S. I was exaggerating about the spleen part.

P.P.S. I want Oreo shake.

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What, did you walk into a pole?


I have not been having good days for some time now. My stars are not aligned in my favor, again. Not surprising though, I really am used to it now.

Let me tell you about the most recent thing that happened to me; we have been conducting workshops on stress and on communication, in various organisations. So a couple of days ago, we went to this hotel to conduct the workshop for the employees. In the evening, when we were leaving, I had to call one of my professors to speak to her. So everyone sat down and were waiting for the cab and I was dialing the number and walking. And then the phone started ringing and I kept walking. And then I walked into a sign board. Made of iron. Rusted iron. And then I turned around to look at my friends and nobody even realized what happened, so I went to them and told them I hit my head. They said they heard a noise and assumed something fell. It was me, of course. Then I turned around and spoke to my teacher. After which I realized my forehead was bleeding. So I now have a cut on my swollen forehead, and a swollen arm courtesy tetanus vaccination. Life is a jungle.

Passport Application Verification Process


I’ve got dreams. Everybody has some dreams they want to fulfill. You know, like owning a restaurant or becoming a world famous dancer or becoming a pop star or eating a quiche the size of Texas. I too have a dream *cue Tangled OST, “I’ve Got a Dream”. My dream is to go to Canada for my post graduations. And hopefully, if things work out for me, I want to settle there.

So, I have taken the first step towards fulfilling my dream of going to Canada- applying for a passport. I applied for it a month ago actually. And a few days ago I went for the verification process in the passport office. Now the thing is, our passport office workers have interesting ways of doing what they have been assigned to do. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to insult anybody here, all I am saying is that it is fascinating. The whole process is kinda fascinating. I will tell you why- here’s a counter to counter report of the conversation I had with them.

                                               My Passport Verification-a-logue

Counter A:

Official: Hello, sit down.

Me: Thank you.

O: Look straight into the camera please. Tuck your hair behind your ears, they need to be visible.

M: okay. *click*

*does some verification thingy on the computer.*

O: May I have your documents please? Thank you. So where will you be going with your passport?

M: Canada.

O: oh, why?

M: To study.

O: When will you go?

M: After my graduation.

O: where do you study now?

M: XYZ College, 2nd year.

O: What do you study?

M: Psychology.

O: why psychology? Why not any other subject?

M: Because I like psychology.

O: okay. When will your braces come off?

M: 6 months or so.

O: Great. Did anybody accompany you today?

M: well, my father came because even my brother is getting his verification done today and he is a minor.

O: I see. Okay you can go now. Look out for your name on the screen and go to the assigned counter.

Counter B:

Official #2: Document for address roof please.

M: Here, my voter id card.

O2: Hmm. You look better in this photograph than the current one here [passport documents, the one I got clicked in counter A]

M: *stare at her for a second* Thank you?

O2: So why did you cut your hair?

M: *stare at her incredulously for two seconds* Because I had dengue and I lost a lot of hair after that so I chopped it all off.

O2: I see. But don’t cut it again. Grow your hair this time. You look good in long hair.

M: okay? Thank you…

O2: you can go now. Wait for the next counter number.

 

So, I was waiting in the waiting room for my name to show up on the screen. I waited for 15 minutes and then the guy from counter A shows up and says-

O: not done yet?

M: *in my mind- you can see me sitting here, waiting. So what do you think?* Nope.

O: okay. *goes away. Only to come back 10 minutes later*

O: I see you’re still not done yet.

M: *in my mind- No shit, Sherlock.* Nope.

O: Go to the front desk, they will tell you where to go before your name shows up on the screen.

M: okay, thank you.

*Find out where to go, go to counter and wait for the guy before me to finish.*

Counter C

Official #3: So many mosquitoes here today. I totally killed 4 of them with my wallet. Someone has to tell the sweepers to clean this room properly today.

*continues to discuss mosquitoes with four other officials, who also cease their work to talk about mosquitoes for the next 15 minutes, I kid you not.*

O3: *to the guy before me, who also contributed to the mosquito talk* Okay, you can go now.

*proceeds to stare at me for a few seconds after I hand him my documents*

O3: Are you a Bengali?

M: *stare at him with open irritation: Yes.

O3: *smiles broadly* But you look like a Marwari!

M: *give an exhausted half smile*

O3: Okay, you can go then.

He did not even check a SINGLE document. Just flipped through the folder. I waited for FORTY minutes to answer if I am a Bengali or a Marwari.

And thus, 2 and a half excruciating hours later, all the documents were verified and I walked out like victorious warrior who just got his limbs amputated. Okay, I am grossly exaggerating, but whatever. I am just glad it is over.

Canada, HERE I COME! Right after I manage to graduate. 

The Fault With My Stars


Luck obviously does not appreciate my existence. I seem to have a series of unlucky happenings happening to me. Like this particular day was exceptionally bad. And lets not forget the toaster incident. And the entire streak of bad luck I was having with His Hotness.
So anyway, what happened today is, Mickey, my labrador puppy, peed in the tiny corridor that leads to my room. So after watching a movie on romedy now, I thought of going to my room to put my cell phone on charge. And since I was unaware of the pee, I stepped on it. And obviously I fell. But that is never enough, now is it? While falling, I banged my head into the wall and slammed my arm into the washing machine. So now I have a painful potato on my head, a throbbing arm, quite possibly a fractured wrist and a horribly aching ass. My stars hate me. Okay bye.

Dear Cosmos, PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!!


Okay.
Day before yesterday, our driver left the new car ( Renault Duster!!!) in reverse gear by mistake and shut off the engine and left it in dad’s office. So when dad came and started the engine, the car rolled backwards and slammed into a wall and now the car’s ass had gone for a toss. Poor Vijay bhaiya (our driver) got a scolding.

Then, after swimming, I came out of the shower and went out to go home and a crow shat (is that the past tense for shit? what is the past tense for shit?) on my head. A CROW SHAT (?) ON MY HEAD. Right after I had shampooed.
Then, I lost a diamond earring. It is also a very bad sign, superstitiously speaking.
Then, the next day, our washing machine started leaking.
Then after some time, our aqua-guard stopped working.
Then in the evening it was raining, so I went to the terrace, happily got drenched and came back down, only to find that all the towels had been washed (before the machine went for a toss), so all of them are wet. ALL THE TOWELS.
Then I slipped and fell because I was wet and tiles are slippery and have this pent up rage saved for me and my poorly coordinated limbs.

How cool, no?
And one of our lovebirds had a baaaabyyyy!!!!! LOOK!!Image

That is it. That is all i have to report.

Oh, and yesterday, Mexican Chocolate and I went to this cafe called Choco Cafe and good lord, the food was so BLEH. He nearly killed me because I was the one who dragged him there. In my defense, one would think that a place named Choco Cafe would be good… Apparently not. 😛

AND, I am going through a  RED phase. I LOVE RED.

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Okay, BYE! ^_^

Rainbows and Sunshine!


My exams are now approaching. In an Apache helicopter. And I do not appreciate it. I haven’t even started studying yet and they are just about 12 days away. I’m screwed. And I still don’t feel like studying! All I do is eat and sleep and gain weight. Except yesterday, I went to watch the freshers yesterday, in IHM. Freshers is basically this welcoming program that the 3rd years put up for the 1st years. They dance and sing and this time they had a skit, where they mimicked some of the teachers, to PERFECTION if you ask me.  Even the guy whom I like (let’s just call him Mexican Chocolate, shall we? My friend and I came up with this name, because he is hot and he is sweet!) was dancing. And another very funny guy and a very hot guy. When hot guy and funny guy were dancing, I couldn’t decide whom to look at. But when hot guy, funny guy and Mexican chocolate were dancing, I was obviously staring at Mexican chocolate. But he refuses to believe me! 😀

So anyway, things between Mexican chocolate and I are good. Very good, in fact. It’s all sunshine and rainbows in paradise. This is kinda surprising because it has been more than a month and I haven’t been abandoned yet, like usual! Please excuse the dramatic choice of words… I mean, I am so freakin’ happy most of the time that it is almost unreal. And I like him so soo sooo soooo sooooo much, that it is scary. Seriously. Sometimes, I just want to kidnap him (and his four legged love, Jimmy, and his wife-his Bullet) and keep him FOREVER. Or till his parents find him. Or till the police find him and I am thrown into jail. Is kidnapping legal in any country/state? Please let me know…  He’s just so….amazing. And hot. And sweet. And awesome. And funny (as long as I am not the butt of the jokes. Which I usually am. 😛 ). And nice. And only occasionally annoying, the occasions being when he tries to drown me in the pool. Yes, DROWN me. If I ever die in the pool, you know who to blame.  But then again, he only pulls me to the hand-bar when I am too tired to swim or too out of breath. So, I guess we can forget about the blame. I just want to kiss him till I am out of kisses, which is basically never gonna happen. And I really don’t know why y’all need to know this. So I am just gonna stop typing now, before I give you more unnecessary information.

Okay, bye. 

 

Rabid Rooster, Malicious Microwave and Totally Terrific Tinker Bell!


Hello people!  I have two incidents to tell you about! One is a rooster incident and the other one I JUST forgot.  Hopefully it will come back to me while I type the rooster incident up.

So, my friend Aaheli was chased by a rooster. I kid you not. There was a rooster in front of the staff residential quarters of IHM (Institute of hotel management, for those who are not familiar with my blog :P). Why the rooster was there is beyond me, apparently it’s a pet. Why someone has a pet rooster in a college campus is once again, beyond my comprehension.

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So anyway, I went closer to him, completely amazed by his presence, and decided to click a picture. After clicking a couple of pictures, I decided to pet him. Aaheli was quietly standing, far away from me and the rooster. As I went closer to him to pet him, HE KICKED ME. He KICKED me and fell down! And I got scared so I ran! I ran behind Aaheli and he chased me! However, after I hid behind Aaheli, he decided to peck her instead. Because going all the way around her to peck me was a little too much exercise for him, I guess. So, he pecked Aaheli a couple of times, after which she gave up trying to shake him off and ran. Screaming all the way.  Ran for almost 50 meters and the rooster chased her all the way! I just sat down where I was standing and laughed and laughed till I couldn’t breathe! Finally the gardener saw her and threatened the rooster with a hose and the rooster came back, upon which I staggered away and hid behind a car. It was hilarious. I laughed for the rest of the day and she just huffed about the injustice of the whole thing, grumbling about how I was the one harassing him and how she had done nothing but stand there. It was HILARIOUS. I wish I recorded it. But I was too busy trying to breathe!

I have still not managed to remember what the second incident was. 😛

Oh oh, it was Shreya’s  birthday on 24th and I baked a red velvet cake, which did not really taste like a red velvet cake. (No, this is not the second incident.) But she loved it anyway. So, I’m happy. 😀 The cake actually looked pretty amazing after I baked it. Then by the night, the sides had become biscuit so I had to cut off the sides, so it became really tiny. I blame the microwave oven. And then I drenched it in chocolate sauce and made it all pretty with gems and tiny silver balls. Here, look!     

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Oh, my exams are fast approaching now. Finally. All my friends have started studying. I don’t know where half my notes are and I’m not even trying to look for them yet. I’m so gonna end up in deep shit. Oh, well.

Oh, have I shown you my new tattoo?? It’s tinkerbell!! Because she is my favorite Disney character! She is a magic, she is pretty, she falls in love with the wrong people (i.e. Peter Pan), she gets jealous, she makes wrong decisions, she makes mistakes, but she manages to do the right thing in the end anyway. And I love her. ^_^

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Okay, bye. 😀