Got a date.


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Living The Mills & Boon Life. Not.


Today, my best friend Ritwika and I were pondering upon very important happenings. Or the absolute lack of it, actually. What was this very important question that we were pondering upon? Why we have not yet managed to get a boyfriend. I mean, we are not too revolting to look at, nor are we absolutely boring to talk to. We have a decent personality. And are pretty much awesome, you know. We have a sense of humour as well. And are sarcastic to the core. Which I guess is not a very appealing thing, but still. Most of the people surrounding us are too dim to get sarcasm anyway. So back to the question, why are we still single? Could it be because our wavelengths don’t match with others’ wavelengths? Or are we just simply hopeless? We are to guys what smoke is to bees! We just drive them away! I honestly don’t know how we manage to do it. Continuously. And flawlessly.
And to top it all, we are now getting lesbian “How you doin?” (You know, like Joey from Friends?) messages on Facebook. We are chick magnets. Sorry, but we just don’t swing that way.

Anyway, the point of this post is nothing. I have no point to make. I just want French fries, a pet dog, a piglet, world peace and a decent boyfriend. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently yes. And as I have mentioned before, the entire fucking cosmos is laughing at us. Continuously. And hysterically.

Off With Cupid’s Head!


Recently, when my exams were going on, me and three of my friend were going back home after the exam in my friend’s car. As we got into the car, I refrained from asking the million dollar question, “Which seat should I take?”.

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There was just ONE seat left. What would she do in a football stadium? Die of sensory overload?

But other than being faced with the dilemma of chosing a seat, one of my friend’s boyfriend called her up to ask how her exam went. They talked for a while, and as she hung up, my other friend got a call from her boyfriend asking how her exam went. They too talked for a while, and as she hung up, my third friend’s boyfriend called her up, asking the same. However, when she hung up, my boyfriend did not call me up. You know why? Because I do not have one. Probably because I am above that gender. Or am far to smart and scare the boys off. I’m hopeless. So anyway, I awkwardly kept staring at my phone, begging it to ring, mentally of course. But no, not even my mom called up to ask how my exam went.

So, I started wondering, why the hell is Cupid slacking off his job when I’m on the line?

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So that’s what he’s been doing…
(source: http://www.shutterstock.com)

I mean, most of my friends seem to have boyfriends. So where’s mine? I know I’m just 18, well, almost, and have a lifetime to wait for the dolt to show up in my life, but still. Why can’t Cupid shoot some fake arrows my way till he’s ready to aim the real thing? You know, like the rubber bullets cops use to scare the shit out of people? And no, the weirdo from Wales does not count.

Apparntly, he wants to “date” me. Cross country. Not to mention continent. I checked his profile and saw that he was in an e-relationship with some chick in Scotland. And from what I figured out, the girl “did not have a phone” but “loved him a lot” and “missed him too.” Their “love was strong enough” to “break through the barrier of distance” (and the lack of a phone) and “continue to exist” on that weird social networking site.
Thanks but no, thanks. I do not want a relationship like that. It would be just weird.
I’d rather be single…

But, bottom line is, Cupid has either passed out, or is having a major hangover, or has resigned, or thinks I’m beyond help, or has been face-walled.

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And that is what I mean by “getting Face-Walled.”

Anyway, I lost track of what I was gonna say. I lost the point. So basically, you read all this rubbish for nothing. I think I’ll just shut my cakehole and sod off. Bye!