College, Weight Gain and Pikachu’s Nutrition Chart

Hello, people of the blog world! Long time no see! Cuz I’ve been a lazy bitch. But oh well. I’m back!

So, I’m in college now. And its an all girls college. I swear to God, only India can come up with these things… So obviously, my college has no guys. NOT a SINGLE one. Girls everywhere. Look right, you see girls. Look left, you see girls. Its a guy’s heaven. But it gets a little tedious for the eye after a couple of days. The only guys I’ve seen on the premises are janitors. But anyway, I’ve made some friends. And they’re a nice bunch. A little different from the people I’m used to, but nice all the same. Very sweet. And very innocent. And, since I’ve spent my entire life in coeducational institutions and as a result my mind has taken up permanent residence in the gutters, I got the mother of all culture shocks. But I’m getting used to it now.

Now about the college. Its got a million and one rules. And mind numbingly boring teachers. For e.g. one of my psychology teachers has SUCH a monotonous voice that I swear I try to listen, I do, but I sort of get lost in my own world after a couple of minutes. Then there’s another one whose patent dialogue is, “stop talking, girls!” She gives the word annoying a whole new meaning. And she doesn’t teach squat. She looks into the book, reads a sentence out, looks up, says the exact same thing again. Not one word out of her own mind. When she does attempt to discuss something, she goes into tangents and wastes half the class.I swear I won’t be surprised if she starts discussing Pikachu’s nutrition chart. She’s just that weird. All my teachers are just about bleh. Plus I’m beginning to gain weight like a pig since there’s a McDonald’s and a KFC about 100 meters from my college.

Basically, my college life is depressing. Very much so. And I’m feeling very extremely sleepy now. So I’ll go sleep. And get back to the blog in a couple of days. Ciao!


The Dreaded First Day…

Today was my very first day at college! We just had our orientation. It was… um… well… Lemme just tell you what happened!! I’m in Loreto College btw…

So, to start from the very beginning, I woke up late to a wicked dubstep mix (my alarm!) and realized that i had hit snooze 5 times already. So, got up in a rush, walked straight into my bookshelf, cursed out loud and made my signature dash to the bathroom. I will spare you the details of what i did in the bathroom. After coming out of the bathroom, I got dressed and grabbed my bag and mobile with such speed and force that the mobile landed ninja style on my face. Cursed out loud again. Sprinted out of the house, got into the car, slammed the door shut and hit my face in the process.Cursed out loud again.  Waited for my mom to come and then vroomed!

Reached my friends place, waited for her to come down and then we left for college! W reached college 40 minutes early. But there were a few others there as well. So we sat in the car for 5 minutes, talking about god knows what and then went inside.
We reached the auditorium, which is not very big but just big enough. And the chairs were the foldable kinds, like this one


(only not as good to look at!) which I was not aware of so when i sat, i pretty much folded in with the chair. And my friend Nidhi just laughed at me. But a few other girls slid back in the chair as it folded in as well. A girl’s bag sorta slid through and fell down. We laughed at the girls and the bag. So its okay.

Then our principal walked in and told us about the rules and we said the prayer and etc etc. And then our seniors took over.  They told

us ALL about the college and what we are allowed to wear and where our classes are and how we must not bunk classes and exactly what kind of shit we will get into if we do. The student body president was pretty cool. She was like, Welcome back to school, little suckers. Not in so many words…

Then we were led to our classrooms. Then the seniors belonging to our specific departments told us all about our teachers and classes and everything. They were pretty cool as well. We have a very cool bunch of seniors, actually. And then our teachers came in and told us about how we must study Study and STUDY. Basically.

All in all it was a pretty okay day. 6 of my friends are also in the same college. ^_^

Oh. Did I mention how I’m in a girls college?

And we have nuns? Although the one nun we saw was pretty sweet and all rainbows and sunshine. ^___^

Anyway, thats pretty much it. Nidhi and I went to McDonalds after college. Which we plan to do PRETTY often in the coming three years. Yes, we shall grow fat. Very. But bleh! 😀

Cutlery, Cats and Imaginary Gnomes

I have awesome relatives, period. Well, at least the ones I know are pretty awesome. That is, my mum’s side of the family. Why the sudden declaration? Cuz I miss them.

I’m at my grandparents place at the moment. Usually when I’m here, so are my cousins and aunts and uncle. And when all of us are under one roof, its CRAZY. Honest. Most of the time is spent observing the Neanderthal kids, i.e. my little 4 year old cousin brother, my 4 year old cousin sister, my 11 year old cousin sister and my 12 year old brother. They fight like a bunch of pmsing bitches and then within seconds, are as pally as the One Direction ladies. Okay, bad reference. Anyway. The rest of the time is spent listening to stories that my aunts have to tell, my younger aunt of her daughter and students and my elder aunt of my younger aunt and mother. Confusing? I know. One of the stories off the top of my head that my younger aunt once told is about this student of hers, who’s final exam answer sheet she was checking. Apparently, they were supposed to write a letter to their friend about how they spent their summer holidays and that student just wrote, “Dear Sam, summer holidays were amazing fun. I can’t wait to tell you all about it when we meet. Please come soon. Love, Rick.” LOL.

And one of her stories about her daughters was about when the younger one was 3 and went to this lady to study (sort of), like learn the alphabets when her mother was at school (teaching, not studying). Apparently she told the lady, “why do you always shout at me? Do this, do that! I’m smart, lady! I know everything! So stop telling me what to do or I’ll tell everybody how stupid my teacher really is.” Beat that.

So anyway, now I’m at my grandparents place and none of them are here. My 4 year old cousin brother was here yesterday though. He spent most of his time going Ben10 alien shit on me. The rest of it he spent shoving tablespoons, forks and serving spoons down his pants. But he went home yesterday. He cried for an hour before going though. Cuz he didn’t wanna go home. After half an hour we discovered the reason why he didn’t wanna go home. It was because they don’t have a coconut tree at their place. But now I’m here alone with my grandparents whom I love very much, but I’m so bored! All I’ve been doing is staring at a cat. And occasionally sitting by the pond. Till the ants attack me. Yeah. Okay bye now. Its raining so I should go say hello to the garden gnomes.

Why Prom Sucked a Little

In India, prom is not the kind of thing you have in any other country. Most of the schools don’t even have a prom. However, my school decided to have a prom. It was an amazing idea, but it would have been better if the school had actually googled it before they gave us the permission to have one. Maybe then it wouldn’t have scored a 8 in the Scale of Suckery.
Why did the Prom bomb? Here’s why-

1. The Dj sucked. Horrible bollywood songs were being played that one would tend to sing along to only if they had their stomach lined with hash brownies. Ok, not really. I’m just exaggerating. A bit. The english songs the Dj had the sense to play were stopped midway for reasons unknown to us. The music stopped altogether twice because of high levels of suckiness shown by the Dj. And to top it all, he wore a T-shirt that said, “Why Always Me?” And by the end of the night, we were all left pondering upon that very question.

2. The teachers’ eyes never left us for a single second. They were staring at us. All of us. And not just one or two teachers but an entire lot of 7-8 of them. I think. They just kept on staring at us, almost expecting some of us to start stripping on the dance floor. What was up with that? It felt so weird! The guys couldn’t even dance with the girls! And if they did, they had to make sure to have minimum contact with the girl. Which itself scored a 10 on the Scale of Suckery. Welcome to India, my dear foreign peeps.

3. Nobody was dancing. This was the direct result of the above mentioned point. Well, people were dancing, but they were dancing within same sex groups. Girls with girls, guys with guys. And I personally think that the teachers should have found that a little more disturbing than people dancing with the opposite sex. Don’t you think?

4. Dress code. You know how in proms in every other country, girls wear gowns or pretty sparkly dresses that look like they came out from a disney princesses’ wardrobe or wear something slightly or absolutely slutty? Yeah. In my school, we were only allowed to wear sleeveless. Nothing too short, n halters, no backless, no off-shoulders, no sweeheart necklines etc. Score on Scale of Suckery- 20 on 10.

5. No corsages and boutonnieres. Yup. You heard me. Nobody got the idea of it. Mostly people went stag to the prom, me included, but mine was a case of utmost stupidity (on my part). But even the ones with dates did not bother with corsages or boutonniers. Why? This is India. And it was not a typical prom. As you have already figured out by now.

Anyway, so that is why our prom bombed. But, it was still a lot of fun. It was just a get-together with a fancy name. But we all met, our entire batch, danced, clicked loads of photos and went back home. All in all,though it was crap, it was not a total waste of time. Atleast I got a new dress out of it!